When is it my turn to break down?

I had a student break down this morning. Again. It happens at least once a week...not necessarily the same student every time, though. I'm just tired of dealing with it. And he's done it before, but not like today. I think it was about 20 minutes out in the hall trying to convince him that he doesn't really want to quit school, and that he really is a smart kid. Somewhere in this conversation, I suggested something he could do when he encounters a problem with another student and asked him if he would try it for a day. His response?

"I can't do that! My name is NOT test! I don't test things out unless my name is test!"

I'm glad he can still make me laugh even when he's screaming in the hallway. :)

Other funny things I heard today:

"Miss Barnes, can I have your autograph? You're probably going to be famous after that super cool dance."

"Did your boyfriend come to watch you dance?"

"How could you keep that a secret from us? We're practically your kids!"

"It's the last day of school!" "I hate to break it to you, but you have to come back to first grade after spring break, kiddo" (That was said by another student.....not me.)

"You want to kiss them on the lips!"

I really don't know what I'm going to do without this year's class clown. Or the rest of my class. They always manage to pick the perfect moments to say something extra funny. Today, they somehow got on the subject of hugs and kissing, and several of them thought it was the same thing. That was an interesting discussion! Here's a few things I heard throughout my day:

"Miss Barnes, you love them because they're your boyfriends and you want to kiss them on the lips!"

"Your secret is that you have a boyfriend! You're engaged! Getting married?" (Don't worry, she didn't take a breath or allow me to answer before the getting married part.)

"Why don't you have a boyfriend? I thought you liked boys."

"Miss Barnes, are you ever going to get married?"

"Are you still going to come here if you get married tomorrow?"

Ha! My class is very invested in my nonexistent love life.

What's said at school....gets blogged about

Things I heard at school today:

"Miss Barnes, I'm super sure you love those boys."

"You have to be at least 1 million years old to have a boyfriend."

"You love the same boy as Miss Clawson. So I decided that you actually love the other boy."

"You're probably jealous, huh?"

"Shelby! Miss Barnes is in love with a boy!"

"I'm gonna tell all the teachers in the whole entire school about this. They'll love it!"

"Miss Barnes, why do you just laugh when I ask you about your boyfriends?"

First graders say funny things...

One of the best things about teaching first grade is all the funny things students say with such innocence.  My students are convinced that all teachers should be married and have kids. It baffles them that I fall in neither of those categories. But it can lead to some pretty funny conversations. :)

Student: "Miss Barnes, I know you're in love with one of those boys you hang out with."
Me: "Oh yeah? Which one?"
S: "I don't know. One of them. Who do you even hang out with?"
M: "Lately, a boy named David and another one named Cody."
S: "Hmmm....it must be Cody!"
I gave no response other than laughing. And a few others students had come to listen.
S: "I knew it! See? You're smiling. You totally love Cody!"

Later today, same student:

S: "Miss Barnes, you shouldn't hang out with boys."
M: "Why not? What if I like hanging out with boys?"
S: "Ahhh! You're gonna make me throw up!" (as he starts for the door)
M: (laughing) "So and so, if girls don't hang out with boys, how are they supposed to find someone to marry?"
S: "Ah man! I didn't think about that! But you have to be at least 16 to get married."
M: "I'm way more than 16, bud."
S: "No, wait. I meant 20."
M: "Well, I'm more than 20, too. Remember?" (pretty sure they ask me on a daily basis how old I am!)
S: "Well then, you've just gotta get married. I guess you can still hang out with boys, then."

This is the same kid who once told me he needed to go home because he needed cough surgery.  What am I going to do next year when I no longer have this kid in my class?!