A lesson in patience

Apparently I need to learn to be patient. I've spent the last couple of weeks being SUPER frustrated with life. Boys, work, everything. You know, the usual. I've spent plenty of time whining to my sister about it all. And, because of the type of person she is, she humors me and puts up with it. And even manages to make me smile and laugh when I'm 100% not in the mood to be happy. I don't know what I'd do without her. 

One of my best friends and I have also spent a lot of time talking on the phone lately about life. I love that we can whine to each other when needed, but also that we can really have deep discussions. I don't know what I'd do without her either. I can't even count the number of times I've felt better about certain situations after talking to her!

But what I've really needed the past two weeks, I found at church today. Patience. Sure, it's something I've thought of off and on through everything. I guess today I just needed a slap in the face with it. I hadn't said anything to anyone about all these things that have been stressing me out lately. (Except the two mentioned before. And Mom. And Dad.) As we walked into sacrament and each of us handed a program, I got the first slap. The word "patience" nice and big at the top of the front cover, followed by this quote from Neal A. Maxwell:

"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best--better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable."

I immediately turned to find the person in charge of making the programs so that I could thank him. In the sixty (or less) seconds it took me to read that, he had given me exactly what I had not been looking for. Yet, exactly what I needed. Which took me back to a couple of things another friend of mine had said in her email this week. She's currently serving a mission in Dallas, Texas, and has been experiencing her own trials. Two things caught my attention in this week's letter:

"...it's in the moments of nearly giving up that God will deliver us."

"I know God lets us hit our breaking point so that we can strengthen our faith in Him. With Him, all things are possible!"

While I was grateful for those reminders about timetables, being patient, and remembering that God is always there with us, I was left wondering to myself why is this all coming up now? What am I supposed to take from this? Well, slap number two was coming. One thing I love about a singles ward is that it's quiet during the passing of the sacrament, and therefore I can actually hear myself think. I was reading David A. Bednar's talk from this past general conference and came across the following two statements:

"...but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to act and change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else."

"...but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else."

I realize those are both basically the same thing. But the fact that he said it twice in only two paragraphs caught my attention. Especially as we got into the next part of the meeting. Two of the members of the bishopric spoke today. And when the second one got up and said he was speaking about patience, I sighed and said to my friend next to me (we'd been talking about it just before the meeting started) "Bring it." :) At this point, I realized this was the answer (or at least part of it) to my many prayers of the last couple weeks. At one point in the talk, the speaker said that patience is more than waiting for something to happen; you have to be willing to act. Which took me back to the previous two quotes.

So, in order to be truly patient, you must to be willing to wait. But you also have to be willing to act and not just sit around being lazy. One thing he said that I really loved was to stay with something and do all that you can, even when the desires of your heart are delayed. Cue slap number three. There's a lot of things I want out of life. But apparently I just have to be willing to wait a little longer.

Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, I'm not going to get everything I want. And I'm definitely not going to get it when I want it. But as long as I continue to build my faith, and to trust in the Lord and His timing, my patience is also going to grow. And because my patience is going to become stronger, it will make it that much easier to wait for all the good things that I desire. It may not seem easy at times. Heck, it's not easy now! (Remember all the whining I mentioned at the beginning?) And those are the times when I (and everyone else) needs to remember that our Heavenly Father does not forsake us! He will always be there to shoulder the burden with us.

I do know that my Heavenly Father is always there, even though I forget sometimes. And I'm so grateful that He is. And that He's willing to find a way to remind me through all of my stubbornness. :)